Ever since the start of my teenage years, I have held the opinion that armpit should be considered private part because I started masturbating when our neighbour’s new wife would come to our house to fetch water.
Whenever she lifted her jerrycan to her head and held it with both hands, it always felt as if she was lifting my dick too.
I had an unnecessarily high opinion of myself a kid and only spoke to a few people in the neighbourhood but because I was the one who pumped water for the whole street, everyone greeted me.
Amongst them is a girl who almost kneels every time she saw me:
“Ekaaro, Boda Tijani”
I would grunt a response as I only wanted that our neighbour’s new wife with the shaved armpit. That year, OAU clipped my wings by not offering me admission and the time I spent at home changed my life forever.
My two brothers were in the University already and when Alhaji & Alhaja went to work, I would be home alone. That was when I started noticing things that weren’t there to be noticed: how people thought we were rich and all that.
One morning, on my way back home from buying toothpaste, the kneeling girl met me at the gate and said she wanted to fetch water. For no apparent reason, my dick started rising and I chatted her up.
“what’s your name”. She said Biola. I asked why she was not in school and she said they are through with their syllabus and were waiting for WAEC to start.
I was going back inside when she said in Yoruba while playfully pulling her hair “we know your name o, Boda Tijani – even if you don’t know our own.”
That night, as per usual, I masturbated. Just that this time around, I didn’t masturbate to thoughts of fucking my neighbour’s armpit; instead, I masturbated to thoughts of fucking Biola. By the end of that week, I had learnt that she was 16 and at 17, we were both minors still.
I had lost my virginity about 3months earlier when I told my parents I wanted to go and watch Man U playing Roma. The devil just did calculations for me and I thought 90 minutes plus half time was good enough to lose virginity.
As I made my way with unsteady steps and fervent prayers that police would not raid that night, I just negotiated with the first ashawo that approached me. N800. She sensed I was new to this (despite all the porn) and asked how old I was. I claimed 19 as she sat on the bed and took a condom. She held my shorts me like those SARS people hold guys with dreadlocks and drew me close to her.
I was breathing heavily thinking what if all that early morning erection abandons me when its time to actually use it.
My fears were quickly diffused as she pulled down my short and held my stiff penis. She played with the tip a little. I think she just wanted me to cum quickly. She wore a condom for me, lay down and guided me in. I was way too aggressive and my penis was slipping regularly. She told me to calm down and smiled.
About fourteen minutes, she was no longer smiling as I was yet to cum. She said my N800 had finished and I told her I would add N200 balance. I eventually came and she said she hopes I’m not dating my mate o; that my dick is meant for old women. It felt like a compliment and I ran back to the viewing centre to see Evra score the final goal. We won 7-1.
At this point in time, I started returning Biola’s flirt:
“how are your boyfriends”
“if they see us together, me I cannot fight o”
She was always laughing and saying boys are wicked. I told her were not all the same. I noticed she had stopped calling me Boda Tijani and started calling me TJ.
Familiarity had let to contempt.