Wasn’t it rather clear now why Elder Matthew refused to pick my calls on Sunday, and yet refused to call back?! He’d sold out! In fact, I called him twice again on my way home after the Campus fellowship gathering; and just before I went to bed that night; yet, he neither picked nor returned his missed calls! Retired cunt! He was a f*cking twat, as long as I was concern! I was now just short of regretting ever choosing to help his poor miserable life! I wonder how he would have managed through, if not for me! No job or business; no serious source of livelihood and yet he had all those children to take care of, literally alone! And yea, he also would have had Sis. Peju to train through school! Ingrate! I guess the angel just became the devil here! Probably over just a morsel of bread or so! Or how else would one explain it? He knew how much of an influence I had within the late G.O’s house, and thus to see that his daughter remained on scholarship, he tried doing everything to avoid being on my blacklist! But now, the G.O was gone, and to likely remain on the advantage, he’s now switched allegiance quickly, to the direction of the newest playing music! Pathetic bastard! Talk of using your fellow man, and dumping!
Okay…I admit I was kinda wrong by engaging in a secret affair with his daughter. But wasn’t his daughter old enough to make a decision for herself? And haven’t I earned the right to bang the girl given how much of an assist I had become to their family?! The world is such an unfair place, you know! Everyone expects a Pastor to lay down his life and all for his flock, but rarely do this same flock want to help provide solace to the Pastor’s personal ‘concerns’! Nonsense! I wasn’t going to take any of this shit! Yea, I know…I’m f*cked at the moment and it’s just hard to see any way out of this damn thing as it is! But personal guilt isn’t the answer either. I should be better off channelling all that energy to finding that elusive way out than dwell on self blame! If only Elder Matthew could pick his calls! If only he could give me a bit of a little listening ear so that I could come up with some sort of explanation; some sort of deal…or maybe just anything that would get him to at least calm down on his furry! He may not expose my affair with his daughter at the said meeting come the next day, but surely, it will only take a bellend not to imagine that the elderly man would likely do everything in his powers now, to bring me down, given what he’s found out! I was in a f*cking pot of soup!
Subsequently, for most of that night, I barely got a grip on anything! My head buzzed, while my heart pounded away like some WW2 submachine gun! I couldn’t just calm down for a single minute, and my wife noticed! Of course, she would have to, given how so restless I was that night! Was it my constantly shaking hands? Or my tirelessly sweating self despite two active Air Conditioners? What about the endless fondling and tapping of my phone, which kept ending up with me calling no one in particular?! And simply because there was no one I could call to help in that moment really! It was in fact, a mad night! And my wife got really worried as the night drew on! But thankfully, her thought quickly concluded over time, that I was only worried because the meeting was targeted at seeing to my removal as District Pastor! I got to know when she mentioned it to me. And of course, she kept being the ‘encouraging wife’; telling me nothing would happen. Thank goodness! Only if she knew what was actually up! Only if she knew that the last person I told ‘nothing will happen’, had wiped my cum off her belly a few hours ago! Only if she knew! I just wondered what would have been! Such fine margins! And yea, none of those sweet words stopped me from acknowledging that disaster was probably just a short distance away! Oh Laaawdd, have mercy!